Geico Gecko

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Sally's Story

Sally's Story from The A.A. Member - Medications and Other Drugs


My name is Sally, and I am an alcoholic.


When I attended my first A.A. meeting, I had many years of alcoholic drinking and prescribed tranquilizers under my belt. At the first meeting, I was deeply struck by the honesty, the variety of personalities, and the individual gratitude to the A.A. program. By the end of the meeting, it was clear to me that "it can be done," and I hopefully began my recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous.


I attended this A.A. meeting on the advice of my psychiatrist. My mental and emotional anguish was quite severe and the doctor had prescribed a tranquilizer which I was taking according to prescription. I never did adjust the dosage on my own.


One day at a time, I did not pick up the first drink. Just as other A.A.s had shared with me, life did begin to take on more meaning and I was so deeply grateful that my alcoholic drinking was behind me. I continued taking my prescribed dosage of a tranquilizer, despite the fact that I heard many A.A. members share their own terrible experiences with tranquilizers, invariably discovering that such medication led to a "slip".


Six months into sobriety, I had a terrible day at the office and felt severely rejected in every possible way. Overwhelmed by self-pity and anxiety, I tried every conceivable means to get rid of my resentments. But I was unable to grasp any insight I had gained from therapy, nor did anything I ever heard at an A.A. meeting penetrate. At the end of the day, I found myself in the restaurant where I has done much of my drinking and ended up having several martinis.


The fact that I drank again was a stunning blow to me. I did not really want to drink, but I did want to relax. The next evening, at a meeting of my home group, I looked around the room and it occurred to me that everyone there was living the A.A. program in an honest fashion - everyone except me. For the first time in my life, I truly opened my mind and decided to follow suggestions. I promised myself that I would speak with my psychiatrist about discontinuing the tranquilizers, as I was convinced that somehow this medication had something to do with my relapse.


My psychiatrist was willing to cancel the prescription. During the weeks and months immediately following, I came to see that I had been relying on tranquilizers to give me the bulwark against anxiety that most of my fellow A.A.s were finding through the Twelve Steps. It was apparent to me that although I had been attending many A.A. meetings, reading the literature, and attempting to integrate the A.A. way of life in myself, my own use of tranquilizers had prevented a real surrender. Actually, I had been quite remote and isolated, attempting to control my feelings just the way I tried to control my drinking. Discontinuing the use of the tranquilizer was crucial in recovering from the disease of alcoholism. Through the A.A. program, I have learned to live comfortably without mood-altering medication of any kind.


Although it has not always been easy to be honest with myself, to reach out to a Higher Power, and to surrender my self-centered will, I feel I am living proof that it is worth it!