Howards-Home

I'm Your Disease

2011-07-08T10:23:00.001-07:00

I hate meetings. I hate HIGHER POWER. I hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of addiction. Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful, that's me. I have killed millions and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call me? I was there. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. This is true glory. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I've been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things; I was always the one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all things good in life.

People don't take me seriously. They take strokes and heart attacks seriously, even diabetes they take seriously. Fools that they are, they don't know that without my help these things would not be made possible.

I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

More than you hate me, I HATE all of you who have a twelve-step program. Your program, your meetings, your Higher Power all weaken me and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to.

Now I must lie here quietly. You don't see me, but I am growing bigger than ever. When you exist, I may live. When you live, I only exist. But I am here... and until we meet again, if we meet again, I wish you death and suffering.

NEVER GIVE UP

No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Be compassionate
Not just to your friends
But to everyone
Be compassionate
Work for peace
In your heart and in the world
Work for peace and I say again
Never give up
No matter what is happening
No matter what is going on around you
Never give up

St. Joseph's/Candler SOURCE

2011-06-29T13:02:00.000-07:00

Today, I'd like to talk about St. Joseph's/Candler SOURCE, a program that provides my healthcare and case management. I've been on the program for about 10 years, and it allows my medicaid benefits to reach me without having to live in a nursing home. My case managers have helped me out quite a bit over the years. We have had a pretty good relationship, meaning that we don't always see exactly eye to eye, but we get over it. I also have a good relationship with one of the managers at SOURCE. She's not my case manager, but she helps me out whenever she can.

I go down to the SOURCE office at the Georgia Infirmary fairly often, and it's nice because everyone knows me, just like most of Savannah. That's what happens when you've grown up here.

After my strokes, SOURCE helped me get into physical therapy to help me recover and gain back strength.

I've also worked with a lot of volunteers over the years. We do things like update my blog, learn how to work with my dynavox speaking computer, and various art projects. I like meeting new people, and its nice to consistently have volunteers around. Mike is the current volunteer and his year is about to end in a couple of weeks. He's helped me stay in contact with people through email and facebook, and we've kept up on posting to the blog too.

I'd like to say a quick prayer for the people who have helped me over the years, not just at SOURCE, but everywhere.

Our Father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us,
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.

For Think is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever and ever.
Amen.

The Big Man's got it!

Alumni Picnic

2011-06-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

I recently attended an alumni picnic for Beach High School. I am part of the class of 1981, and it's been 30 years since I graduated. I got to see a lot of people that i graduated with, people I hadn't seen in a long time. Some of my classmates didn't look like they changed a bit, while others looked like they had changed a lot. I even got to catch up with some of best friends from high school. A lot of people who had moved out of Savannah after graduating came back for the picnic.

A lot of people hadn't seen me since I had my strokes and it kind of took them by surprise. They were patient and tried to understand what I was saying to them. They thought I had changed in some ways, but not all.

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard." Psalm 19:1-3

Graduation

2011-06-22T13:24:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday, I attended Johnson High School's graduation at the Civic Center. I went to see my pastor's son graduate. It was a very nice ceremony, and I was happy to be invited. My pastor's son is about to go away to college. I'm proud of the work he has done and I wish him the best for the future.

"Everybody has a worldview... some basic premises that you think about life and you say, 'Ah, that informs what I do and how I see things.' Christians must see that the faith is more than a religion or even a relationship with Jesus; the faith is a complete view of the world and humankind's place in it. Christianity is a worldview that speaks to every area of life, and its foundational doctrines define its content. If we don't know what we believe - even what Christianity is - how can we live it and defend it? Our ignorance is crippling us."

Farewell Show

2011-05-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

After 25 years, Oprah's talk show is going off the air. I remember when her show first started to get national attention, and it's been going strong ever since. I tried to watch every day if I could, I always enjoyed it.

Her story is incredibly inspiring, as she came from nothing to being one of the richest and most powerful women in the world.

On her first show, she said, "One thread running through each show is the message that you are not alone." This was the first of 10 lessons that she talks about on her final show Wednesday.

2. "Wherever you are that is your talk show and that is where your power lies."

3. "[A calling] lights you up and lets you know you're exactly where you're supposed to be doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. Live from the heart of yourself. You have to know what sparks the light in you so you in your own way can illuminate the world."

4. "Nobody but you is responsible for your life. And what is your life? What is all life? Every flower, rock, tree? Energy. And you're responsible for the energy that you create for yourself and that you bring to others."

5. "All the energy you spend trying to hurt someone else will turn around and slap you in the face."

6. "There is a difference between thinking you deserve to be happy and knowing you are worthy of happiness. We often block our own blessings because we don't feel smart or pretty or worthy enough. The show's taught me you're worthy because you're born and you're here. You alone are enough."

7. "[People] want to know 'Do you see me, do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?' Try it with your children, your husband, your boss -- validate them. 'I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.'"

8. "I know that presence [God], that flow -- some call it grace -- is working in my life at every single turn. It's closer than your breath and it's yours for the asking ... You can acknowledge it or not. You can ignore it. Or you can know it... God is love and god is life and your life is always speaking to you.

9. "My hope is you will be a safe harbor for somebody else. Connect, embrace, liberate, love just one person. Then spread that to two and see what a difference that makes."

10. "There are no coincidences. Only divine order here."

I know that this isn't the end for Oprah, and that she'll be successful in whatever else she chooses to do. I wish her the best.

10 Lessons taken from: http://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/2011/05/oprahs-final-farewell-10-lessons-learned.html

Another opportunity for reflection...

2011-05-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

Let my love enfold you in the radiance of My Glory. Sit still in the Light of My Presence, and receive My Peace. These quiet moments with Me transcend time, accomplishing far more than you can imagine. Bring Me the sacrifice of your time, and watch to see how abundantly I bless you and your loved ones.

Through the intimacy of our relationship, you are being transformed from the inside out. As you keep your focus on Me, I form you into the one I desire you to be. Your part is to yield to My creative work in you, neither resisting it nor trying to speed it up. Ejoy the tempo of a God-breathed life by letting Me set the pace. Hold My hand in childlike trust, and the way before you will open up step by step.

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18

"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory." Psalm 73:23-24

Reflection for the day...

2011-05-20T08:53:00.000-07:00

Taste and see that I am good. The more intimately you experience Me, the more convinced you become of My goodness. I am the Living One who sees you and longs to participate in you life. I am training you to find Me in each moment and to be a channel of My loving Presence. Sometimes My blessings come to you in mysterious ways: through pain and trouble. At such times you can know My goodness only through your trust in Me. Understanding will fail you, but trust will keep you close to Me.

Thank Me for the gift of My Peace, a gift of such immense proportions that you cannot fathom its depth or breadth. When I appeared to My disciples after the resurrection, it was Peace that I communicated first of all. I knew this was their deepest need: to calm their fears and clear their minds. I also speak Peace to you, for I know your anxious thoughts. Listen to Me! Tune out other voices, so that you can hear Me more clearly. I designed you to dwell in Peace all day, every day. Draw near to Me, receive My Peace.

"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." - Psalm 34:8

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." - Colossians 3:15

Citizen Advocacy Dinner

2011-05-20T06:16:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, I attended the Chatham-Savannah Citizen Advocacy 33rd Annual Covered Dish Supper. It was my 5th year attending and it was a great a night as always. It was was a packed house at the Savannah Station, with about 350 people in attendance. I sat with Jenny Brown and Mike Grathwol from SOURCE and enjoyed some good food, some good speakers and some good music. I ran into some old friends, and it was really good to see them again - especially some friends from Union Mission.

To start off the evening, there was a band outside playing some good music while people mingled on the patio.

I really enjoyed Tom Kohler's speech as well as a local lawyer's speech about being a citizen advocate. There was also a younger girl who is a protege in the program who gave an excellent talk about how much her advocate has meant to her.

The food was in abundance and really good as always. I especially enjoyed the peach cobbler and made sure to grab seconds.

I've known Tom for quite a while, and I'm very proud of the work he's been doing. He built up the program from scratch into the wonderful community that it is today. I consider him a friend.

I also ran into Terri that evening, and got to catch up with her a little bit.

-- God's gift for you is eternal life. That means to live with Him in Heaven forever. He said, "And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish."

The Big Man's Got it!

Running into an Old Friend

2011-05-12T06:45:00.000-07:00

I have known a certain family for quite a while. They're a good family and have been in Savannah for a long time. I met my friend's son, Isaiah, when he was a baby, and I just saw him again yesterday and he's as tall as I am. I was at the mall picking up my new glasses and I just happened to run into him and his mom in a checkout line. It was great to see them again after so long. I was thinking to myself, "This is the same kid? Last I saw him, he was still in his mother's arms." We caught up on each others' lives for quite a while before we went our separate ways.

After seeing Isaiah, it made me think about the youth I used to speak to and made me want to share some of that speech here for Isaiah and kids his age to read.

"Have you ever wanted to do something to be cool? So cool, that everyone would want to be your friend? My name is Howard Jackson. I used to strive to be cool, and by many standards, I was. When I was your age I went to Bartlett Middle School. My friends and I spent every minute not in class roller skating. I used to burn up the floor, skating in every direction, spinning and dancing to my favorite songs.

As I got older being cool brought power. People looked up to me, and for years I stayed straight, moving forward towards graduating, playing basketball at Beech High School, and roller skating in my free time. After graduating I spent two years working at different jobs around town and continued to roller skate. By then, I had racked up many trophies from contests and many friends. When I turned twenty-one I had the liberty to drink wherever, and drink I did. Soon, I found myself hanging out with my friends and drinking here and there when I was not at work. Within a year I found myself moving from just beer and whiskey into a new world of drugs.

The drug world is an intense place. Some of you may already know this, or have been exposed to it. Friends here quickly become your family and they are the folks you want to turn to whenever you’re in need. But trust me...they may not always be there. Friendship in drugs is clouded by those same drugs. On the surface taking a drug or drinking a beer feels good. It seems like a great idea. But deep down, it messes with your mind. AND it messes with the minds of your friends. Suddenly, the only thing important is where to get the next fix or the next dollar. It’s not, looking out for the people you love or looking forward to the next activity or game you will play together.

In time my friendships, my cool, my power, moved me from being the taker of drugs into being the dealer of drugs. I ended up in some very tough spots and in some very scary places. And guess who was not there to get my back? Exactly. None of the people I would have expected. None of my so called, family.

The fact that I have to push a button today to say this to you is proof of what can happen when you get yourself caught in a world of alcohol and drugs. One night I was making a deal and quickly found myself in a wrong spot, at the wrong time. Before I knew it a baseball bat was in my head and my stash and cash were gone. When I woke up, after being in a coma for over a year, none of my “family,” my drug family came. No one was there for me, supporting me as I learned how to reuse my arms, my legs, and struggled to regain my words. I met many new friends after this journey when I lived on the streets, struggled with homelessness, and watched the woman I loved and was engaged to, marry someone else. If you don’t remember anything else today, just remember that in a moment life can change completely. For me, I got myself in that moment and have never been the same since.

I see more and more young people, like you all, on the streets, hanging with friends, and sometimes I know that you’re doing more than just hanging. I know, because I was there. Each time I see you, I say a prayer, knowing that the Big Man’s got it, and hopefully for that moment, for that day, he’s got you too.

Today, after recovering from drug abuse, alcoholism, and homelessness I know that my purpose in life is to share this story in hopes that you may think twice when being cool or powerful puts you in a tough situation. And perhaps it is also to share that even with the disabilities I have now, I’m still Howard, and deep within, we are all one."

I want to wish Isaiah and his mom the best, and I hope to see them again soon.

THE BIG MAN'S GOT IT!

Southern Storms

2011-05-06T06:13:00.000-07:00

I've seen on the news all of the destruction from the storms that swept through the south in the past couple of weeks. Blocks of cities have been destroyed by tornados and a lot of people are without a home. People who were living comfortably just a short time ago, are now living out of shelters or gymnasiums because nothing is left of their home. They have to completely rebuild from scratch.

I'm glad to see that people have responded to this crisis and are lending a hand to those who need it most. The American Red Cross does a lot of this and I commend them for their efforts. The first step is to take care of the injured, search for the missing, and find temporary shelter for the homeless. The next step of rebuilding is more challenging.

My thoughts and prayers will continue to go out to those affected by these storms.

I hope the clean up finishes quickly and the people who were most affected can start to rebuild their lives.

I've also heard about the flooding that is going on along the Mississippi River, especially in Illinois and Missouri. I hope they are able to control the rising water levels and keep the nearby towns from being destroyed.

A Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T06:08:00.000-07:00

Prince William is a good guy and Kate Middleton is very pretty. There seems to be a lot of hype around the wedding, but I think its worth it because a royal wedding doesn't happen very often.

I remember watching the last royal wedding between Prince Charles and Princess Diana. It was a spectacle and I remember that her dress stretched on forever.

I know coverage starts on TV at 4 in the morning. I, for one, will be asleep, but I hope to catch some of it as the day goes on.

I wish the best to William and Kate!

The Big Man's Got It!

Nomination for Recognition

2011-04-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

Mu Phi Chapter, Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc., Announces 2011 Mardi Gras Contestants

Denise Parker, my case manager, has been nominated by the omega psi phi fraternity as a 2011 Mardi Gras contestant. She is one of four nominees that will be recognized tonight at the Savannah Civic Center.

I have known Denise for more than 10 years, and she has helped me more times than I can remember.

_____________
The LORD opens the eyes of the blind. The LORD lifts up those who are bowed down; The LORD loves the righteous. - Psalm 146:8

INDIVIDUAL

For as the wind may blow,
Only my spirit knows
What life has in store.
For my eyes see
What's in front of me,
But only my heart and mind know
What would truly be,
What shall I say,
O heart of mine?
Can you feel the way?
And what shall I say,
O mind of mine?
Do you know the way,
Which is what I do not know.
But what I have found
My spirit shows
That my trust in GOD,
There where He follows.

Gus Bryant

THE BIG MAN'S GOT IT!

Building Local Support

2011-04-07T09:09:00.000-07:00

A key to any attempt to prevent or end homelessness is working to gain local support. There is a lot of "NIMBY" thinking - Not In My Back Yard. People want to help to end homelessness in theory, but are hesitant when it comes to putting programs in place that may make them uncomfortable or challenge their ideas of how it should be done in their community. A lot of people think that Homeless Shelters and Transitional Housing Complexes are good things, but they don't necessarily want to live next to one. If we're trying a build a community plan to end homelessness, and really work together, that type of thinking may need to become a thing of the past. Nan Roman, the CEO of the National Alliance to End Homelessness shares this point of view. It makes me happy that someone in her position has this outlook and is working towards practical ways to end homelessness. I've had the pleasure of hearing Nan speak several times at the NAEH conference in Washington, and I hope to hear her speak again in the future.

"Then you must celebrate the harvest to honor the LORD your God. Bring him freewill offerings in proportion to the blessings you have received from Him." Deuteronomy 16:10

Reflection on Struggles

2011-04-06T06:03:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share some thoughts I've been having about the struggles of people all over the world. The people of Japan are still reeling from the terrible earthquake and tsunami that devastated their country. They are starting the long process of rebuilding while also fighting the radiation problem at the nuclear power plant. A couple of weeks ago, these people were living out their daily lives just as we were, then tragedy struck. It serves as a reminder to us that we need to be thankful for the time we have here with our friends and family and also reminds us that there are many people in need around the world who could use our prayers.

The earthquake hit Japan unexpectedly, just as my brain injury and stroke hit me unexpectedly. It took me a long time to rebuild - relearning how to walk and do things for myself. Those events caused me to refocus and live with different priorities. I am forever changed by these events, just as the people in Japan will be forever changed. Many of these changes are difficult, but not all of them are bad. I have met many wonderful people, learned a lot about friendship, and began to learn how to ask for help when I needed it. Something that hasn't changed and will never change is that there is a God who loves us all.

May today there be peace with in
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be
May you never forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you
May you be content knowing that you are a child of God
Let this presence settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love
It is there for each and every one of us

Geico Gecko

2011-03-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

I love the Geico Gecko ads. Whenever I see the commercials on TV, they make me laugh. I hope this picture brings a smile to your face too.

Sally's Story

2011-03-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

Sally's Story from The A.A. Member - Medications and Other Drugs

My name is Sally, and I am an alcoholic.

When I attended my first A.A. meeting, I had many years of alcoholic drinking and prescribed tranquilizers under my belt. At the first meeting, I was deeply struck by the honesty, the variety of personalities, and the individual gratitude to the A.A. program. By the end of the meeting, it was clear to me that "it can be done," and I hopefully began my recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous.

I attended this A.A. meeting on the advice of my psychiatrist. My mental and emotional anguish was quite severe and the doctor had prescribed a tranquilizer which I was taking according to prescription. I never did adjust the dosage on my own.

One day at a time, I did not pick up the first drink. Just as other A.A.s had shared with me, life did begin to take on more meaning and I was so deeply grateful that my alcoholic drinking was behind me. I continued taking my prescribed dosage of a tranquilizer, despite the fact that I heard many A.A. members share their own terrible experiences with tranquilizers, invariably discovering that such medication led to a "slip".

Six months into sobriety, I had a terrible day at the office and felt severely rejected in every possible way. Overwhelmed by self-pity and anxiety, I tried every conceivable means to get rid of my resentments. But I was unable to grasp any insight I had gained from therapy, nor did anything I ever heard at an A.A. meeting penetrate. At the end of the day, I found myself in the restaurant where I has done much of my drinking and ended up having several martinis.

The fact that I drank again was a stunning blow to me. I did not really want to drink, but I did want to relax. The next evening, at a meeting of my home group, I looked around the room and it occurred to me that everyone there was living the A.A. program in an honest fashion - everyone except me. For the first time in my life, I truly opened my mind and decided to follow suggestions. I promised myself that I would speak with my psychiatrist about discontinuing the tranquilizers, as I was convinced that somehow this medication had something to do with my relapse.

My psychiatrist was willing to cancel the prescription. During the weeks and months immediately following, I came to see that I had been relying on tranquilizers to give me the bulwark against anxiety that most of my fellow A.A.s were finding through the Twelve Steps. It was apparent to me that although I had been attending many A.A. meetings, reading the literature, and attempting to integrate the A.A. way of life in myself, my own use of tranquilizers had prevented a real surrender. Actually, I had been quite remote and isolated, attempting to control my feelings just the way I tried to control my drinking. Discontinuing the use of the tranquilizer was crucial in recovering from the disease of alcoholism. Through the A.A. program, I have learned to live comfortably without mood-altering medication of any kind.

Although it has not always been easy to be honest with myself, to reach out to a Higher Power, and to surrender my self-centered will, I feel I am living proof that it is worth it!

A Visit With Students

2011-03-11T06:25:00.000-08:00

This past Wednesday, I was able to meet with a group of students from Chicago who came to Savannah for a spring break service trip. I told them my story and shared my experience with advocacy. I talked about many of the obstacles I've overcome in life, including addiction and homelessness. I hope that my story served as an inspiration to them to never give up, to never be too proud to ask for help, and to always remember that the Big Man's got it.

I've done speaking events like this in the past, but it has been a while since my last one. If felt good to share my experiences again, and hopefully it is something I can continue to do in the future.

I thought the students were great. I admired them that they chose to serve over their spring break rather than just relax or party. I was happy to take a few pictures with them, and I took a short video myself.

One Addict's Experience with Acceptance, Faith and Commitment

2011-02-25T10:36:00.000-08:00

"When I came on the NA program I had identified my problem - I had the desire to stop using, but couldn't see how. Due to the nature of addiction, my whole personality was geared toward getting, using and finding ways and means to get more. All of my personality traits reinforced this obsession with self. Totally self-centered, I tried to manage my life by manipulating people and curcumstances to my advantage. I had lost all control. Obsession forced me to use drugs repeatedly, against my will, knowing that it was self-destructive, and against my basic instinct for survival. Insane, and feeling totally helpless, I gave up fighting and accepted that I was an addict - that my life was totally unmanageable, and that I was powerless over the disease. My willpower could not change my diseased body that craved drugs compulsively. My self-control could not change my diseased mind, obsessed with the idea of using mood changers to escape reality. Nor could my highest ideals change my diseased spirit - cunning, insidious, and totally self-centered. As soon as I was able to accept the reality of my powerlessness, I no longer needed to use drugs. This acceptance of my condition - my powerlessness over addiction and the unmanageability of my life - was the key to my recovery.

With the help of the recovering addicts at NA meetings, I abstained - a minute, an hour, a day at a time. I still wanted to get high. Life felt intolerable without drugs. Giving up left me feeling even more hopeless than before, and, to cope, my mind told me to use drugs again. Acceptance of my powerlessness and the unmanageability of my life left me needing a power stronger than my disease to change my self-destructive nature. The people I met at meetings told me they had found a power greater than their addiction in the NA program. These people had been clean for months or years and didn't even want to use anymore. They told me that I could lose the desire to use drugs by living the NA program. I had no choice but to believe them. I had tried doctors, psychiatrists, hospitals, mental institutions, job changes, marriages, divorces; all had failed. It seemed hopeless, but in NA I saw hope. I met addicts recovering from their disease. I came to believe I could learn how to live without drugs. In NA, I found the faith I needed to begin to change.

At that point I had stopped using drugs, and reluctantly believed that I could continue to abstain. I still thought and felt like an addict, I just didn't use drugs. My personality and character were the same as they had always been. Everything about me reinforced my self-destructiveness. I needed to change or I would start to use again. I had accepted my condition, and believed that I could recover. In order to do so, I had to make a total commitment to the spiritual principles of the NA program.

With the help of my sponsor, I decided to turn my life and my will over to God, as I understood God. For me, this was a turning point. This decision demanded continued acceptance, ever-increasing faith, and a daily commitment to recovery. The decision to turn my life and will over to God required that I find out about myself and actively try to change my ways of coping with reality. This commitment brought honesty into my life. This is how the NA program works for me: I accept my disease, develop a faith that the program can change me, and make a commitment to the spiritual principles of recovery.

Action is now required. If I don't change, I will be miserable and return to using drugs. The actions suggested by the NA program can change my personality and character. I honestly examine myself, writing down what I have done and how I have felt. I reveal myself completely to my God, and to another human being, telling all of my most secret fears, angers and resentments. By doing these things, the past no longer has control over my life, and I am freed to live up to my ideals today. I begin to behave differently, and become ready to be changed by my God into the sort of person He wants me to be.

I have begun to develop a reasonable self-image, based in reality, by asking to be relieved of my shortcomings.

By amending the wrongs I have done to other people, I have learned how to forgive myself and others.

I review my behavior regularly and correct my mistakes as soon as possible. I am continually developing and expanding trust and faith in spiritual principles. I give to others, sharing myself, and our program, and try to live the principles I have learned. These Twelve Steps have allowed me to stop using, have taken away the desire to use, and have given me a new way of life."

Self-Acceptance

2011-02-24T06:43:00.000-08:00

From the perspective of Narcotics Anonymous

The Problem

The lack of self-acceptance is a problem for many recovering addicts. This subtle defect is difficult to identify and often goes unrecognized. Many of us believed that using drugs was our only problem, denying the fact that our lives had become unmanageable. Even after we stop using, this denial can continue to plague us. Many of the problems we experience in ongoing recovery stem from an inability to accept ourselves on a deep level. We may not even realize that this discomfort is the source of our problem, because it is often manifested in other ways. We may find ourselves becoming irritable or judgmental, discontent, depressed, or confused. We may find ourselves trying to change environmental factors in an attempt to satisfy the inner gnawing we feel. In situations such as these, our experience has shown that it is best to look inward for the source of our discontent. Very often, we discover that we are harsh critics of ourselves, wallowing in self-loathing and self-rejection.

Before coming to NA, most of us spent our entire lives in self-rejection. We hated ourselves and tried every way we could to become someone different. We wanted to be anyone but who we were. Unable to accept ourselves, we tried to gain the acceptance of others. We wanted other people to give us the love and acceptance we could not give ourselves, but our love and friendship were always conditional. We would do anything for anyone just to gain their acceptance and approval, and then would resent those who wouldn't respond the way we wanted them to.

Because we could not accept ourselves, we expected to be rejected by others. We would not allow anyone to get close to us for fear that if they really knew us, they would hate us. To protect ourselves from vulnerability, we would reject others before they had a chance to reject us.

The Twelve Steps are the Solution

Today, the first step toward self-acceptance is acceptance of our addiction. We must accept our disease and all the troubles that it brings us before we can accept ourselves as human beings.

The next thing we need to help us toward self-acceptance is belief in a Power greater than ourselves who can restore us to sanity. We do not need to believe in any particular person's concept of that Higher Power, but we do need to believe in a concept that works for us. A spiritual understanding of self-acceptance is knowing that it is alright to find ourselves in pain, to have made mistakes, and to know that we are not perfect.

The most effective means of achieving self-acceptance is through applying the Twelve Steps of recovery. Now that we have come to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we can depend upon His strength to give us the courage to honestly examine our defects and our assets. Although it is sometimes painful and may not seem to lead to self-acceptance, it is necessary to get in touch with our feelings. We wish to build a solid foundation of recovery, and therefore need to examine our actions and motivations and begin changing those things that are unacceptable.

Our defects are part of us and will only be removed when we practice living the NA program. Our assets are gifts from our Higher Power, and as we learn to utilize them fully, our self-acceptance grows and our lives improve.

Sometimes we slip into the melodrama of wishing we could be what we think we should be. We may feel overpowered by our self-pity and pride. but by renewing our faith in a Higher Power we are given the hope, courage, and strength to grow.

Self-acceptance permits balance in our recovery. We no longer have to look for the approval of others because we are satisfied with being ourselves. We are free to gratefully emphasize our assets, to humbly move away from our defects, and to become the best recovering addicts we can be. Accepting ourselves as we are means that we are alright, that we are not perfect, but we can improve.

We remember that we have the disease of addiction, and that it takes a long time to achieve self-acceptance on a deep level. No matter how bad our lives have become, we are always accepted in the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.

Accepting ourselves as we are resolves the problem of expecting human perfection. When we accept ourselves, we can accept others into our lives, unconditionally, probably for the first time. Our friendships become deep and we experience the warmth and caring which results from addicts sharing recovery and a new life.

Make Today a Great Day

2011-02-23T08:38:00.000-08:00

The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.
The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down;
The Lord loves the righteous.
-Psalm 146:8

Treat Day Song

It's treat day
It's treat day

Give me something good to eat day

It's treat day
It's treat day

Another day to give THANKS day

Another day to be kind!
Another day to enjoy life!
Another day to be nice!

It's treat day
It's treat day

Give me something good to keep day

Another day to be kind!
Give good gifts and be nice!
Another day to give thanks!
Another day to give thanks!
Cause Jesus Christ is our LORD!

And lastly, as always, The Big Man's Got It!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T06:14:00.000-08:00

This is Deirdre, my girlfriend. I have known her for 3 years. We have both had obstacles to overcome in life, and we have inspired each other to make the best of it. The Valentine's Day post below is for her. She is the one that got me the monkey.

God's Promise

God didn't promise days without pain,
Laughter without sorrow or sun without rain.

But God did promise
Strength for the day
Comfort for the tears,
And light for the way.

And for all who believe
In his kingdom above,
He answers their faith with
Everlasting Love

It's Almost Valentine's Day

2011-02-07T07:37:00.001-08:00

Here are some words for Valentine's Day.

There are good days
and bad days
and tough days
and sad days...
fight the world days
and sing out loud days
And I don't care
because I signed on forever,
and that's a whole days...

But as long as they're me and you days,
I'm cool.
Not just cool, actually... happy.
Really happy.
So all I can say is,
"Bring on forever."

Our Tribute to Laura Webb

2011-02-07T06:50:00.000-08:00

My friend Laura Webb worked with me for a long time at Union Mission in Savannah. In 2007, she moved to Washington D.C., but her memory never left Savannah. Recently, I have really missed her presence and hard working attitude, so I would like to share some things that people wrote about her upon her leaving Savannah.

-------------------------

There once was a lady named Laura
Who burst into our lives
She's really made a difference
For those whom fate deprives

She came to Union Mission
And tried to light a spark
The spark became a flame
That moved us from the dark

She comes to work for countless hours
She never seems to tire
And then when others get depressed
She tries to lift us higher

We are so sad she has to leave
We didn't have a choice
We'll miss her calm and caring love
We'll really miss our "voice"

We wish you luck and joy and peace
We'll really miss our friend
But you will stay within our hearts
Until the very end!

-------------------------

To my dear friend Laura:

What a great friend you have been to all of us whose lives you have touched through Union Mission. We are all so sad to see you go, but at the same time, we know that this is the right thing for you to do.

I remember the first time I came to volunteer and you asked me if I would be a tutor to someone in recovery. I was very nervous, but then I met Robert, and he became a special person in my life and you helped me put together a book of his poems before he died... I will always be grateful we got that done.

Then, along with Howard and Karim, I came to the first meeting of the CAB, and we set off on another journey with our dear Laura Webb leading the way. Our Consumer Advocacy Board would not have made it without you and together we have experienced many sad moments, many happy moments, and of course many challenging moments.

It is said that no one is indispensable. I beg to differ! There will never be another Laura Webb. You have shown us the true meaning of grace under pressure, compassion without pity, commitment to EVERY small detail no matter how trying, and a genuine love for a job that brought its share of frustrations as you stood side by side with so many people whose lives were chaotic. What a difference you have made in so many lives!

THANK YOU just isn't enough, but please know that I consider myself blessed to have worked (in some small way) beside you these past years.

Love ya lots!!
Mo Field

-------------------------

To Laura:

You're the best... why?

You're caring, giving compassionate, and most importantly, YOU ARE YOU!

I am truly grateful for knowing such a splendid person, someone who will continue to be a caring and inspiring person to those who are yet to know you.

Thanks for the many years of priceless friendship we have shared.

I wish you and yours many, many years of continuing success in all that you do. Remember, life is a journey, embrace the journey. We will miss you.

In loving service,

Johnny (Karim) Freeman

-------------------------

I have known Laura for 7 years. We met at Union Mission and together we have accomplished lots of work in the community. Laura and I have been through a lot together and we get along great, like brother and sister. Sometimes we don't always agree, but that's how families are - we still love each other. Laura and I are very close - we look out for each other. My favorite part of the work I do with Laura is speaking to young people about my life experiences in hope that they won't make some of the same mistakes that I did. I am grateful to Laura for helping those speaking engagements happen. Without her, my life would not be the same.

From Howard Jackson

-------------------------

There is a special person from my past I admire a lot. I learned from this very special person, you can do good things for anyone and not expect anything in return. Let it come from the heart. Be a voice for the voiceless. It is worth the effort to fight to make a community better.

No matter what time of the day or night, you could call her and get advice, find help, or can be directed to the person or service to help make it better. Never judgmental. Resourceful. Always nearby.

I was fortunate enough to have a special person like this in my life with Laura Webb. A kind and generous spirit who can find a way to make things happen. Caring spirit. I will miss that quality Laura possesses, but I am also happy for her new beginning. Our loss is Washington's gain.

Thank you Laura for always being there; for helping me to stay focused; for giving me the chance to participate. Thank you for knowing the answers. God bless you and the best of luck to you in your future endeavors.

- Renee

-------------------------

WOW! When I first met Laura, I was homeless, full of fear and very alone. Someone I had met that had gone through Union Mission and knew Laura, took me to Grace House on Fahm Street. When we got there the man who took me there saw Laura and they hugged. And, he introduced me to her. I look back now and I feel like I was Charlie Brown and with the little red haired girl. As time went by, and I grew to know Laura, I saw a dedicated woman full of humility, and a true selfless humble servant. Laura works from morning to late evenings wholeheartedly for those in need at Union Mission, Parent and Child, and CABoH, etc... She has been so supportive to me personally, and has listened to me, encouraged me, and has led me to others that I could be of help to. Also, finding opportunities for me to tell my story of HOPE to others, so that they might be able to understand what it is to be homeless, and what it takes to become a productive member of society. Laura Webb is going to be missed tremendously bu myself, everyone at Union Mission, and I am sure, by everyone whom she knows in Savannah! What an example of a true humble, selfless servant! Laura has been that for me and many others. May God bless her and always keep her in his precious sight.

With Love and Respect,

Stephen R. Bond

God's Promise

2011-02-07T06:47:00.000-08:00

God didn't promise days without pain,
Laughter without sorrow
Or sun without rain

But God did promise
Strength for the day
Comfort for the tears
and light for the way.

And for all who believe
In his kingdom above
He answers their faith
with everlasting love.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

The Process of Life

2011-02-07T06:31:00.000-08:00

Life is a process of meeting and solving problems. Solving problems is a way that we test and develop our spiritual muscle. Think of outstanding people such as Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, and Hellen Keller. Lincoln faced the problem of a divided country; Gandhi, an oppressed India; Keller, her personal handicaps. In rising to meet their vision, courage, fortitude and compassion, they have become great not in spite of, but because of their problems.

Problems often come to us in the form of crisis. The chinese glyph for the word crisis contains two symbols - one means danger and the other opportunity. When an obstacle is before you, use it to create a beneficial result. As with Lincoln, Gandhi and Keller, let your problems bring out your greatness. Rather than pray for a life that is problem-free, ask for one that is solution-full. Instead of requesting that God remove the mountain in front of you, seek the strength to climb it.

Remember that the best students always get the toughest problems. Love the problems you have, and their priceless gift will be yours.

I think we have a very current example with our president. Barack Obama faced problems of his own, many of which he overcame before even taking office. The struggles and pressures of becoming our nation's first black president have shaped him into the man of fortitude and progressive change that he is. He may or may not be remembered for his accomplishments in office, but he will always be remembered for the journey that got him there.

21 Guidelines

2011-02-02T08:58:00.000-08:00

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

4. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

6. Be engaged at least 6 months before you get married.

7. Believe in love at first sight.

8. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely.

10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

11. Don't judge people by their relatives.

12. Talk slowly, but think quickly.

13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

14. Remember that great love and great achievement involve great risk.

15. Say, "God bless you," when you hear someone sneeze.

16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.

18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

21. Spend some time alone.

The Big Man's Got It!

The Lord's Prayer

2011-02-02T08:53:00.000-08:00

Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bready.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,
And the power,
And the glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen.

Individual

2011-02-02T08:44:00.000-08:00

For as the wind may blow,
Only my spirit knows
What life has in store.
For my eyes see
What's in front of me,
But only my heart and mind now
What would truly be.
What shall I say,
O heart of mine?
Can you feel the way?
And what shall I say,
O heart of mine?
Do you know the way,
Which is what I do not know.
But what I have found
My spirit shows
That my trust in God,
There where He follows.

- Gus Bryant

In the Name of Love

2011-01-17T13:23:00.000-08:00

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and I'd like to pay tribute to him. He worked for so much positive change and gave one of the most famous speeches in history, his "I have a dream" speech. I'd like to include a few memorable lines from this speech.

"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today."

I believe that Dr. King's dream has become a reality for many, and that today's children do not have the same worries as those forty years ago. However Dr. King was not one for complacency and issued us this challenge:

"If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

U2 wrote a song called, "Pride (In the Name of Love)" which pays tribute to Dr. King and contains the line, "In the name of love, one more in the name of love."

Given recent events, I can't help but think of those who recently lost their lives in Tuscon, Arizona. The young girl who was killed, Christina Taylor Green, weighs heavily on my mind. She was robbed of the opportunity to make a difference, and that makes me both sad and angry.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient; bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to one hope when you were called - one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." Ephesians 4:2-6

"A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35

The Big Man's Got it!

One Hundred and Eleventh Anniversary!

2011-01-10T13:45:00.000-08:00

I would like to recognize the Central Missionary Baptist Church of Thunderbolt, Georgia for its 111th Anniversary this past week. Because of the good work of people like Pastor Timothy Sheppard, the church has been a positive presence in the community since it started with 16 people on January 3rd, 1900.

Pastor Sheppard had been leading Central Missionary since September 19th, 2000, and he is the 13th pastor. His motto is, "I love you and there is nothing you can do about it."

I also have a motto, "The Big Man's got it!"

A History of the Gullah People

2010-12-01T08:41:00.000-08:00

The coastline of South Carolina, Georgia and northern Florida is home to an estimated 300,000 Gullah people. The Sea Islands off the coast of South Carolina, among them Edisto Island, Coosaw Island, Dafuskie Island, and St. Helena Island, have provided Gullah roots to millions of African Americans. Thousands of enslaved Africans survived the middle passage to reach Sea Island shores. The climate and isolation of this area were integral to the development of Gullah culture. The rice plantations of the low country were deemed unhealthy for white owners and their families. Relatively autonomous, Sea Island Africans were freer to speak in their own languages and dialects, thus preserving more of their African culture. Low country slave owners also tended to buy captives from the same areas of west Africa who also spoke similar languages. With the people, Mende and Kissi, Malinke and Bantu came the soul of Africa. In their language, their music, their skills and their foods persist the rich legacy of a hundred tribes.

The words "Gullah and Geechee" have come to describe that legacy. The Gullah language, a blend of African and European tongues, was born in the holding pens of Africa's slave coast, but matured in the isolated plantations of the coastal south. Gullah accents, words and intonations echo across these islands today. Here survive the Gullah "shout". The Gullah rhythyms translated from forbidden drums and the oldest plantation melodies, are reminders of a saved and sacred past.

Still standing are the Prarie Houses, revered since slavery day beginnings. Within the walls of these small buildings, religious worship and African elder culture combined to uplift and console the people. This rich culture flourishes today. Sweet grass basket weavers make their exquisite wares in the ancestral ways. African "long strip" quilting continues and chefs keep to the flavors of the African rice coast. Story tellers speak their truths, spinning their tales while entwining fun and wisdom. Drummers drum and dancers dance. Choirs preserve the haunting songs and old rhythyms.

This is the heritage of a people who have survived.

Preserve Gullah culture.

A Message From Central Missionary Baptist Church

2010-11-15T07:48:00.000-08:00

My Pastor shared this with me, and I would like to share it with you.

Lord Jesus Christ, I believe you died on the cross for my sins and rose again from the dead. You redeemed me by your blood and I belong to you, and I want to live for you. I confess my sins known and unknown - I'm sorry for them all. I renounce them all and I forgive all others as I would want you to forgive me. Forgive me now and cleanse me with your blood.

I thank you for the blood of Jesus Christ which cleanses me from all sin. And I come to you as my Deliverer. You know my special needs - the things that bind, that torment, that defile; that evil spirit, that unclean spirit. I claim the promise of your word, "Whosoever that calleth on the name of the Lord shall be delivered." I call upon you now. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, deliver me and set me free.

Satan, I renounce you and all of your wolves. I loose myself from you, in the name of Jesus, and I command you to leave me right now, in Jesus' name, Amen!

Just a reminder that the Big Man's got it!

SNCC and Freedom Week

2010-11-08T10:02:00.000-08:00

"In 1960-64, a profound political and societal change was called forth by the brilliance and tenacity of a few brave young Americans. The founding members of SNCC, The Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee met in April 1960 and vowed to end the sanctioning of racial segregation in America.

Fifty years later, in April 2010, seven Savannahians, all related through a common connection to Chatham Savannah Citizen Advocacy, took a road trip to Raleigh, North Carolina to celebrate the 50 year anniversary of the founding of SNCC. We had no idea what to expect, or what effect it would have on us.

It was big.
It was good.
It was real."

"Chatham-Savannah Citizen Advocacy is a 32 year old community organization that brings people together around the issues of social justice and social inclusion on behalf of people who are excluded because of prejudice toward people with disabilites. We ask citizens to become advocates on behalf of individual people. We trace the lineage of the movement for rights of people with disabilites directly from the civil rights movement."

These people put on an event called Freedom Week in Savannah, which I attended and enjoyed.

Gorgeous

2010-11-08T09:07:00.000-08:00

This is a piece by Clinton Powell that was read extremely well by Rushelle Frasier at the SNCC Freedom Week in Savannah.

Gorgeous The Troy Davis Piece
by Clinton D. Powell

This is for my city... and I love my city
But there are times my city doesn't return my love

I want my city to be gorgeous
And the truth is so gorgeous

We are not asking for Freedom for Freedom sake,
We are asking for justice... and if justice equals freedom then so be it

Remember when we were in class and
The teacher would leave on person to take names on the blackboard
And that person just happens to be the big bad bully that no one wants to cross
And this week the bully decides to pick on you, the decides to LIE on you

Putting your name on the blackboard for throwing paper and cussing in class
And even when you screamed at Ms. Simpson,
"It wasn't me, I didn't do it." She doesn't believe you
And there wasn't another student trying to save your butt.
Now you got no recess, no playtime for a whole week
And its about to go on two
You're being punished for a crime you didn't do
But hoping somebody, anybody in your class
Would just tell Ms. Simpson the truth
Here you are dying on the inside
Your skin covered in poison ivy lie, craving calamine lotion truth,
All we want is the truth

And the truth is our city is divided
They say there are three roads to reach the truth
Not too far right, not too far left, but the truth just somewhere down the middle

There is a lot of ugly out there
I want my city to be gorgeous
And believe me ya'll the truth is so gorgeous

Truth is, I don't know what it's like to go through life as my father's namesake
Bearing his likeness, being bombarded since birth to curse the man that killed my daddy
Watching my grandmother weep, unable to speak
Feeling my sister and mother's arms reapped around my sorrow
Hearing all my life one name that is the source of my family's pain
And knowing that his death will give my family life
I don't know what it's like to live this reality, then have half my city tell me
That the name that I hate and the name that caused all my family's pain - those names are not one and the same.

I don't know what it's like to be a sista searching, struggling, trying to save a brother without sacrificing her sanity and soul...
Often being the only voice shouting into a vacuum, holding a family together by faith
all beacuse she loves and believes her brother
Can't imagine being a mother still holding on, Christmas, after Easter, after New Year, after birthday after Thanksgiving, still giving thanks that hope still springs eternal
I don't know what it's like to be a nephew to look in the stands during a basketball game and never see my uncle, never hear him cheering, "I got you, nephew."

But I know what it's like to want the truth
Truth is, we are a city divided
The road to the right is screaming guilty, the road to the left is shouting innocent
And that is ugly, and if there is a way to truly find that gorgeous middle of the road of truth then so be it, let's do it.

Because we are all familiar with being wrongfully accused whether in class or in life
20 years is a long time without recess
And the classroom sit-out doesn't compare to having your name written on Savannah's blackboard
Being stamped, labeled and branded Troy Davis, the murderer. You that... Cop-killer
That that is just ugly Savannah and we can't be ugly, I need my city to be gorgeous
They're watching C-port and we can't be ugly like California
When we watched 4 idiots on idiots box, beat down a king who traveled through the wrong block then in court, we watched all four of those idiots walk.

So we can't be ugly like New York
A nation heard 41 shots hit Am-a-doe-bee-a-lo, young African dead at 24,
Mama clutching her son's shirt and memory of his smile, cause his body won't be back no more,
But them 4 officers said oops our bad and then walked their ugly asses out the courthouse door.

We can't be ugly lke Georgia. My Georgia with 20 wrongful convictions,
20 men serving nearly 170 years for crimes they did not commit
We need need our city to be gorgeous
And believe me ya'll the TRUTH is so gorgeous

We are not asking for freedom, only justice, and if justice equals freedom then so be it.

Savannah Please BE GORGEOUS!

The Struggles of the Youth

2010-10-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

I read about the plight of homeless children in a book called, A Shelter is Not a Home... Or is it?. It has some striking information about homelessness in New York City. But homelessness is an issue not only in New York, it is right here in Savannah.

"For most children, homelessness is not a brief or singular experience, but a period fraught with educational and emotional setbacks that can last for years. These children endure turbulent living situations, family violence, health problems and instability in nearly every aspect of their lives. Homeless children move 16 times more often than the average American family, resulting in frequent school transfers, enrollment problems, and excessive absences."

Imagine trying to go to school and learn, when you don't know where you'll be going that evening because you don't have a home. As a result of these struggles, many of these youth drop out of school.

We have homeless shelters in Savannah, but they can be improved to better meet the needs of the people here. You can help. Visit unionmission.org for more information about how you can become a volunteer or you can browse the wishlist for items you can donate to the homeless community.

Go Dawgs!

2010-10-19T07:49:00.000-07:00

I would like to inform everyone that I am a proud Georgia Bulldogs fan. I've been watching the Dawgs play for a long time and I remember the days of Herschel Walker and Vince Dooley. I watch the game every Saturday, and although we got off to a slow start, we're starting to play better. Having A.J. Green back doesn't hurt, either. I just saw on facebook that a good friend of mine got a picture with A.J., and I thought that was pretty cool. Hopefully, we can stay on track and beat Auburn and Florida this year.

Past and Present Advocacy Efforts

2010-10-12T08:30:00.001-07:00

Here is my history as an advocate. For information about my current work, please visit my website. There is a link on the right hand side of my blog.

I am a man with a traumatic brain injury, right side paralysis and speech aphasia which makes me unable to speak. When I was 35, I was viciously attacked with a metal bat by someone with the intent to kill me. Since my survival, I have overcome addiction, homelessness, and depression. In the year 2000, I went into a recovery program through a healthcare for the homeless program. Things gradually began to turn around for me. As a person in recovery, I began to feel there must be a way for me to make a conrtibution. I could not work due to my disabilities, and, like everyone else, I needed purpose.

I began working with Laura Webb to speak as a survivor of homelessness in their outreach program. Soon, I was telling my story to people of all ages who were interested in learning about homelessness. Laura and I soon realized that I could be a bridge between homeless people, community organizations, and people in the community. As that bridge, I could humanize the experience of homelessness and minimize stereotypes.

When we created a consumer advisory board in 2002, I was a founding member. Our project eventually became the Community Consumer Advocacy Board on Homelessness. As a group, we have engaged with Savannah's mayor, our Georgia assembly delegates, the Governer's office, and our U.S. members of Congress. We even did a "sleeping out" study at the request of Mayor Otis Johnson. We visited tent camps and Savannah squares to talk to homeless people who chose not to be involved in our services. We presented this information to the mayor in hope that it would help him understand more about the long term community investment needed to address chronic homelessness.

As our consumer board gained experience, we started a monthly newsletter that informs and inspires people experiencing homelessness, providers, and community stakeholders. I continued to work as a public speaker, adding a new chapter to my story as a consumer advocate. I spent a lot of time during previous summers with youth from around the country doing service learning projects. Laura and I discovered that they consistently referred to me as a role model. Me?! A role model? Wow! So, we decided to use my relationship with the youth to reach out to them about advocacy. As part of their service with Union Mission, we made time for me to present my advocacy efforts with them, and we provided them with information and a template to write letters to their own elected officials. In these letters, our youth volunteers talked about their experience working among the homeless and they referenced legislation of current importance like the National Housing Trust Fund bill.

As an advocate, I try to be honest. I still struggle. I bring struggle to the discussion, but I also bring hope. Thank you.

Elliott's Calling: Helping the 'fragile folks'

2010-10-12T07:28:00.000-07:00

Here is an article published in the Georgia Southern Newsletter about my friend, Micheal. Click on the picture, and it will get bigger so you can read it.

Sweet Summer

2010-10-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

This is a story written by a friend, that I wanted to share with you. If your life looks like the story below, or if it looks a little different, enjoy every day.

Roller blading in downtown California while I'm singing my favorite song. It's humid and abrasively sunny with a temperature of a hundred and five degrees. The music accessibly played on my small radio. "T-Shirt and my panties on, T-Shirt and my panties on"

Meanwhile, calculably roller blading up to the back yard swinning pool for a swim. I compliment the day with a yellow and black bikini made by essence. "Oh sweet summer, how I love you, let me count the ways."

Suddenly I start to feel famished, as I head for Tangiest Chinese restaurant, only to order shrimp and broccoli. Furthermore, I have a love for swiftly working out at the gym, just to be invited to club 57 on Rodeo drive by a long time friend.

Tonight I'm stepping in club 57 with a slinky black dress on made by Liz Claiborne and a pair of black heeled pumps. As I ease into the party with flashing white lights. I honored him with a dance in a nearby corner of the party room. That ole sweet summer sunshine.

In a sudden exhausted meditation, I exit the party room and head home to a million dollar estate that I had bought five years ago. No company, except for the two love birds that hung passionately and timidly from the ceiling with a lovely sound.

I have experienced eternal bliss as I take a flight of an airplane traveling to Venice, Italy this day. High price hotels, expensive dinners, and all the perks of having a high paying job. Being a power professional and proficient is not easy unless you're a natural born representative.

So therefore, enjoy your life, whether it is that sweet summer or not. Make every day count for something. And maybe then, just then you can count some memories from that ole sweet summer.

You are an Essential Piece

2010-10-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

I'd like to dedicate these words to Nan Roman, CEO of the National Alliance to End Homelessness.

You believe in values,
As shown by your actions.
You work to make the world a better place,
More compassionate. You're always reliable.
You welcome all into the warmth of your embrace
Dreaming of a world safe for all people,
You believe in justice and building communities.
You believe in sharing yourself with others
and are a part of something greater than yourself.
You are an essential piece.

The Next Step

2010-10-08T08:08:00.000-07:00

Barack Obama said change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for; we are the change that we seek.

Barack Obama is one of my heroes, he makes me proud.

Ted Kennedy is also a hero of mine. He supported a lot of policies that I think have done a lot of good, and he also supported Obama. He was truly a great man.

These men have inspired us to work for positive change. I created a website with the goal of such change regarding homelessness. Please take a look.

www.rightsforall.weebly.com

The Rules for Being Human

2010-10-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

1. YOU WILL RECEIVE A BODY - You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2. YOU WILL LEARN LESSONS - You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, ONLY LESSONS - Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works".

4. A LESSON IS REPEATED UNTIL LEARNED - A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

5. LEARNING LESSONS DOES NOT END - There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. "THERE" NO BETTER THAN "HERE" - There your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here".

7. OTHERES ARE MERELY MIRRORS OF YOU - You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects somthing you love or hate about yourself.

8. WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU - You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. YOUR ANSWERS LIE INSIDE YOU - The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

10. YOU WILL FORGET ALL OF THIS

11. YOU CAN REMEMBER IT WHENEVER YOU WANT

Birthday Wishes

2010-10-08T07:44:00.000-07:00

I'd like to wish a belated Happy Birthday to Pastor Timothy Sheppard of Central Missionary Baptist Church. He is a good man doing good work.

A Word from the President

2010-10-01T07:45:00.000-07:00

When you want to go forward in your car, you put it in "D." When you want to go backward, you put it in "R." We want to go forward. We have to put it in "D."

Make sure to get out and vote November 2nd! If you're in Georgia, you can vote anytime between now and then!

Here's a picture of a guy I know who is showing the right spirit!

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33

The Big Man's got it.

National Alliance to End Homelessness Conference

2010-10-01T07:23:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone, here are some picture from my trip to DC this summer.

Here is Nan Roman the CEO of The National Alliance to End Homelessness. I was able to talk with her while I was there.

Hey Man!

2010-09-24T06:56:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone, Thank you for reading my blog! I wanted to say hi to you another way!

Never Give Up

No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Be compassionate
Not just to your friends
But to everyone
Be compassionate
Work for peace
In your heart and in the world
Work for peace and I say again
Never give up
No matter what is happening
No matter what is going on around you
Never give up

-His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

The Bridge Builder

2010-09-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

An old man, going a lone highway,
Came at the evening, cold and gray,
To chasm, vast and deep and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The sullen stream had no fears for him;
But he turned when safe on the other side
and built a bridge to span the tide.
"Old Man," said a fellow pilgrim near,
"You are wasting strength building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again must pass this way;
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide
Why build you the bridge at eventide?"
The builder lifted his old gray head:
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today
A youth whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm that has been naught to me
to that fair-haired youth may pitfall be,
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him."

-Will Allen Dromgoole

Dr. Bob's Farewell Talk

2010-09-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

My good friends in A.A. and of A.A.,

I get a big thrill out of looking over a vast sea of faces like this with a feeling that possibly some small thing I did a number of years ago played an infinitely small part in making this meeting possible. I also get quite a thrill when I think that we all had the same problem. We all did the same things. We all get the same results in proportion to out zeal and enthusiasm and stick-to-itiveness. If you will pardon the injection of a personal note at this time, let me say that I have been in bed five of the last seven months and my strength hasn't returned as I would like, so my remarks of necessity will be very brief.

There are two or three things that flashed into my mind on which it would be fitting to lay a little emphasis. One is the simplicity of our program. Let's not louse it all up with Freudian complexes and things that are interesting to the scientific mind, but have very little to do with our actual A.A. work. Our Twelve Steps, when simmered down to the last, resolve themselves into the words "love" and "service". We understand what love is, and we understand what service is. So let's bear those two things in mind.

Let us also remember to guard that erring member the tounge, if we must use it, let's use it with kindness and consideration and tolerance.

And one more thing: None of us would be here today if somebody hadn't taken time to explain things to us, to give us a little pat on the back, to take us to a meeting or two, to do numerous little kind and thoughtful acts in our behalf. So let us never get such a degree of smug complacency that we're not willing to extend, or attempt to extend to our less fortunate brothers that help which has been so beneficial to us.

Thank you very much,

Dr. Bob

Medically Induced

2010-09-14T07:35:00.000-07:00

Breathing hard on the operating table, unable to comprehend the trauma of being clinically induced, with anesthesia. As I listen and look slowly over at the heart monitor, buzzing the nurse on call to give me something to drink and lunch made me feel uneasy.

Comatose and packed down with bandages across my head with tubes running through my thoracic cavitites, along with a sporadic respiratory problem while on high powerful medication.

Eyes rollin up in the back of my head, as I push the buzzer, doctors flew in the admission room along with a team of nurses. Why did I do drugs? Why did I have an addiction for drinking, cocaine and ravenous drugs? I just couldn't admit that I had a problem.

Long days at the detox center for substance abuse. This reminds me of the looking glass. For example; you can only see one side of yourself. And the other side you cannot see. My children whom are sexually active at 11 and 13 years old, with no prognosis of being pregnant.

Can you gain a sense of hope or normality? You have some type of stability on an illusive scale. I remember times when I saw my street doctor who gave me intravenous drugs taught me everything that I know. I think to myself how the world was so different back then.

Meanwhile; hospital stays, changing times and family feuds had me living in everlasting hell. My promise to get clean and rehabilitated was long winded, after a ninety day discharge.

What do I do or what do I say to the drug dealer and the street doctor? As he approaches me about some money I owe him. Oh lord please don't kill me! Please don't proposition me! Please stop the dramatic entrance to this one woman world that I live in.

Furthermore; I am medically induced with doctors and detoxification nurses. Let me take my meds right now. Oh God please help me, because I'm scared of what I might become.

STD's, shelters, and trash can food makes me run to the street man. Still having a family feud, where are my children Carmichael! He replied, they're at school! Okay Carmichael, I'm going back to detox even though they helped me before when I was drug addicted.

Meanwhile; antibiotics, methadone, and twenty three months of rehab gives way to a new life with counseling for my family. No more feuding or drugs. Because I have learned to let

This is a passage from one of my friends, about her experiences. I post it as is, even though it is not finished. Thank you to my friend for sharing her story.

Jesus Christ told his followers that he came to earth, "not to be ministered to, but to minister and to give his soul a ransom in exchange for many." (Matthew 20:28) He willingly gave up his life for the benefit of others. How did Jesus, by his death, provide a ransom? Why was this necessary? For whom did Jesus lay down his life? And what can his death mean for you?

The Big Man's got it

2010-09-14T07:03:00.000-07:00

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you
are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite
possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones,
and allow your soul the freedom to sing,
dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

This is a poem a volunteer wrote about me.

There is a man
he made many mistakes which he can never fix
he had a broken down soul, destroyed by the drugs he sold
he has been alone with the effects of a stroke he had to cope
But why o why judge this man
Is not my and your's idea of a perfect man
meant to be but you can't understand
Is this a man stronger than you or I?
For finding God with little hope to survive
Still loving God in times one would cry
While also teaching me something never to forget
The Big Man's got it.

My Photo Shoot

2010-07-15T12:05:00.000-07:00

The Georgia Alliance to End Homelessness

2010-06-21T08:11:00.000-07:00

The Bridge Builder

An old man, going a lone highway,
Came at the evening, cold and gray
To chasm, vast and deep and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed the twilight dim;
The sullen stream had no fears for him;
But he turned when safe on the other side
And built a bridge to span the tide.
"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim near,
"You are wasting strength with building here;
Your joyney will end with the ending day
You never again must pass this way
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide
Why build you the bridge at the eventide?"
The builder lifted his old gray head:
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today
A youth whose fee must pass this way.

This chasm that has been naught to me
To that fair-haired youth may pit-fall be,
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him:
- Will Allen Dromgoole

You Are An Essential Piece
You believe in values,
As shown by your actions.
You work to make the world a better place,
More compassionate, you're always reliable.
You uwelcome all into the warmth of your embrace
Dreaming of a Word safe for all people,
You believe in justice and building communities.
You beleive in justice and building communities.
You believe in sharing yourself with others
and are a part of something greater than yourself.
You are an essential piece.

Back in the Day

2010-06-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

These are two pictures from my senior year at Beach High School. The first picture was my senior picture and the second picture was me and Lisa voted "Most Popular".

Glorious Reality

2010-04-05T07:06:00.000-07:00

Sara Groves’ song “Just Showed Up for My Own Life” captures the thoughts of my friend Jenilyn and I wanted to add it to my blog to share with my friends also. I think there are a lot of truth in these lyrics.

Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take by working their way from the outside in
I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface repairing the holes in the shiny veneer

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

I’m going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that’s honest and real until I’m truly amazed
I’m going to feel all my emotions
I’m going to look you in the eyes
I’m going to listen and hear until it’s finally clear and it changes our lives

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Father God, let me continue to walk into reality; to let myself be, to feel, to know who I am and how you have created me. Allow me to live fully, celebrating and sharing the good and delightful things you have instilled in me and boasting in your grace which is redeeming my sinful and broken heart. Be glorified in me!

Georgia Alliance Conference

2010-03-04T14:44:00.000-08:00

I attended the Georgia Alliance to End Homelessness conference in Marietta, GA today. I met researchers from the Institute for Children and Poverty (ICP) in New York City. You can find out more about them at www.icpny.org.

Look forward to an upcoming post about trauma-informed services, based on an exciting session that I attended today.

My Prayer

2010-01-20T11:23:00.000-08:00

My church is Central Missionary Baptist Chruch in Thunderbolt, Georgia. The following prayer is something lifts my spirits when I am feeling low.

GODS PROMISE

God didn't promise days without pain,
Laughter without sorrow
Or sun without rain

But God did promise
strength for the day
Comfort for the tears
And light for the way.

And for all who believe in his kingdom above,
He answers their faith with everlasting love

The Touch of the Master's hand

2009-11-20T11:09:00.000-08:00

It was battered and scarred and the auctioneer

Thought it was scarcely worth his while

To waste his time with the old violin,

But he held it up with a smile.

"What am I bid, good people," he cried

"Who started the bidding for me?
One dollar? One dollar. Do I hear two?

Two dollars, who makes it three?

Three dollars once, three dollars twice,

Going for three..." But no!

From the room, far back, a grey-bearded man

Came forward and picked up the bow.

Then wiping the dust from the old violin,

and tightening up the strings,

He played a melody, pure and sweet,

As sweet as the angel sings.

the music ceased, and the auctioneer,

With a voice that was quiet and low

Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?"

As he held it aloft with its bow.

"One thousand? One thousand, do I hear two?

Two thousand. Who makes it three?

Three thousand once, three thousand twice,

Going and gone!" said he.

The audience cheered, but some of them cried,

"We just don't understand.

What changed its worth?" Swift came the reply
"The touch of the Master's hand."

And many a man, with life out of tune,

All battered with bourbon and gin,

Is auctioned cheap, to a thoughtless crowd,

Much like the old violin.

A mess of pottage, a glass of wine,

A game, and he travels on.

He is going once, he is going twice,

He is going, and almost gone.

But the Master comes and the foolish crowd

never can quite understand

The worth of a soul, the change that is wrought,

By the Touch of the Master's Hand.

In Memory of Paul Douglas

2009-11-20T11:03:00.000-08:00

Paul was a good friend of mine and he did a lot of me and the community.

Poem written in memory of Paul Douglas (taken out of his funeral program)

“ Paul was a very devoted volunteer at Union Mission where he bestowed us with his many talents and natural gifts. He also helped impact the lives of hundreds of people. Paul also had the ability to connect with those in need of a helping hand he always gave them an encouraging word. Paul was a special kind of person that saw the good in everyone. He was a person with a very large heart and loved showing kindness to everyone he met. Paul was dedicated to his friends, family, country and community. He will be greatly missed by all of us who knew him.”

The Final Flight

Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free,
I’m following the path God laid for me,
I took his hand when I heard his call,
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I’ve found that peace at the end of the day.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My Life’s been full, I savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, He set me free.

National Homeless Persons' Memorial Day

2009-11-20T11:02:00.001-08:00

“All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

December 21st is the first day of winter and the longest night of the year. It is also National Homeless Persons’ Memorial Day. I ask that you remember those who continue to struggle with day to day living and get involved in you community by giving back through volunteering your time to those in need. I recently wanted to volunteer at Second Harvest here in Savannah to help stock the food shelves. When I got there, they had so many volunteers that they didn’t need my help. This was a beautiful thing to see. There were adults, teenagers and little children taking time out of their day to make a change within their community. Although it was great to see so many people helping out and donating their time to those in need I didn’t see anybody who looked like me.

I think that it is important that we as Black people start helping our own community and uplifting each other. We have a Black president who has called for all of us to make a change. That means a change in the way we are living. People are dying on our streets from alcohol, drugs and guns. Maybe if we were more involved in uplifting each other and our communities we would have peace in the streets. I have a lot of friends who have done so many great things for my surrounding community and I am thankful for what they’ve done and what they continue to do but I think that more people need to get involved, more people like me; people who have grown up in these communities.

My friends, you all know how passionate I am about ending homelessness and violence within our communities. I wish that people would trust in God instead of a gun. I understand their struggle because I grew up in these neighborhoods and I hustled in these neighborhoods just the same but I made a change. I had to in order to keep living. If we continue to live in a destructive manner we’ll all kill each other. We need to stop killing each other and start caring for each other through advocacy and community service. We need to uplift our communities. I’m doing all that I am able to do with what God has given me. Politicians, CEOs and case workers do what they can but there are some people who are doing nothing.

Remember that there are a lot of people who are still hungry and struggling with addiction on our streets and they need help everyday not just during the holidays. Thank you to all of those who continue to give back and work towards making a change in our communities. Thank you to all of those who have donated their time and their money towards social justice. Thank you to all of my friends who are good people doing good deeds. To those who don’t know whether or not they should volunteer or give back just think about the condition of our community and open you eyes to what is going on. Uplift your community and be excellent in helping each other achieve that goal.

For the 2008 statistics of our homeless population in Savannah please visit the following link: http://www.homelessauthority.org/savstatistics.htm

If you are interested in volunteering for the Savannah community but don’t know where to start go to http://www.handsonsavannah.org/ If you are from another city visit http://www.handsonnetwork.org/ to look up your local chapter. You will find a calendar of volunteer opportunities which is how I reconnected with Second Harvest.

Howard visits Savannah State University

2009-09-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

Howard visited Savannah State University and shared his story with Darnel Jones and Andrew Anderson. Darnel is majoring in Civil Engineering and Andrew is majoring in Business and both are on the SSU Basketball Team. Also, Darnel and Andrew are assisting CCABoH as part of their community service requirements. All three enjoyed meeting each other and Darnel and Andrew were inspired by Howard's story. Howard appreciated coming to campus and meeting these young men. CCABoH appreciates their commitment to advocating for the homeless.

2009-09-25T07:09:00.000-07:00

Howard wanted to share this poem with you and remind you that

"The Big Man's got it!!"

Footprints

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking

along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky

flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene,

he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;

one belonged to him,

and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene

of his life flashed before him,

he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life

there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest

and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him

and he questioned the LORD about it.

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,

you'd walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that

during the most troublesome times in my life,

there is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why when

I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied,

"My precious, precious child,

I love you and I would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints,

it was then that I carried you."

2009-09-11T06:08:00.000-07:00

On July 31, during the National Alliance to End Homelessness conference, Howard joined other advocates from Georgia for "Hill Day." Georgia advocates visited Jack Kingston, John Barrow, Johnny Isaackson and John Lewis offices. The highlight of the day was getting to shake Congressman John Lewis' hand!

Citizen's Advocacy Potluck Dinner

2009-06-02T06:47:00.000-07:00

It’s Teri writing for Howard…

On May 7, I attended the annual Citizen’s Advocacy potluck dinner with Teri Schell. Teri had invited me to a dinner a few weeks beforehand and then I had been invited by Susan Earl and others at Candler SOURCE to the Citizen’s Advocacy dinner. When Teri picked me up for the dinner, I hadn’t realized that where she was taking me was the same place that SOURCE had invited me. I had attended many Citizens Advocacy dinners over the years but didn’t want to break my word to Teri. I told Teri that I would go with her for a little while, then I’d like to be dropped off somewhere else. I was so surprised when Teri took me to the same dinner! We had a big laugh over that!

I saw many old friends there and made some new ones, too! There was so much food and the table decorations were lovely. SOAP played music and inspirational stories were shared. Savannah Magazine was there taking pictures – a fun night was had by all. I hope you will be able to attend next years Citizen Advocacy dinner.

The picure above is of me and a friend from Candler SOURCE. Follow the link below to the Savannah Magazine City Seen page -- you'll have to click on the Citizen Advocacy link to get to pictures. I know many of the people in the pictures and there's a good picture of me and Teri on page 3!

http://www.savannahmagazine.com/city_seens/page:3

Bad times are not created equal

2009-03-30T17:17:00.000-07:00

I feel bad for anyone having a tough time. But, I really don't like to hear about CEOs and huge bonuses any time-- especially when they are tax dollars! I hope that the Recovery Act money goes to the desperate needs that have led to Georgia having the 2nd biggest problem with the number and condition of homeless children out of 50 states.

Dear friends- I hope you are all doing well. If I have a friend who is a CEO, I am sure you are not the kind to take a huge bonus and lay people off!

with love,

Howard

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-17T15:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends:

This has been a year of challenges for me personally, for our country, and for the world. I have great hope, but I know many of us are making due with less these days. Let's remember that the folks who were already making due with nothing have nowhere else to downsize to. Do what you can to help, and no way of helping is truly ever small!

For those of you who feel alone this holiday season, please know that you are not alone.

With love,

Howard "JJ" Jackson

Another Advocacy Step Forward

2008-10-14T13:37:00.000-07:00

Great news! The House of Representatives passed a McKinney Vento Reauthorization Bill. Some of the wonderful youth that volunteered with me at Union Mission this summer wrote letters to their members of Congress about this. Amazing job, guys! This bill helps make it easier for agencies like Union Mission to help homeless families and do homelessness prevention (help people sooner.) It also makes it easier for folks out in the country (rural areas) to get help. For all of you who want to do some more writing, how about contacting your Senators? The House version of the bill will hopefully go up for a vote in the Senate before the end of the year. This will probably not happen until after the election, so there is time to write! And, it won't be on the President's desk unless both the House and the Senate pass the bill!

For great tips about writing a legislative advocacy letter, you can e-mail my dear friend Laura at lwebb@unionmission.org or take a look at the National Alliance to End Homelessness website, http://www.endhomelessness.org/. Look for legislative update info there.

P.S. This photo is of me with Ms. Auleria Crawford and her son Eric. Just wanted to send a shout out to both during football season! I am proud to count you as friends.

New Friends in Advocacy

2008-08-28T15:48:00.001-07:00

While in DC at the National Alliance to End Homelessness Conference last month, I had the chance to meet consumer advocates who are doing GREAT things around the USA.

I met Diane Sullivan of Boston MA, a consumer advocate teaching homeless families to act politically and advocate for themselves and others. Bet she could teach me a thing or two about advocacy, and she has a great smile!

I also made a friend of Joe out of Delaware, working with the Delaware AIDS Coalition. Health issues created a situation that led to homelessness for Joe, but now he is helping others out of the same spot. He has so much positive energy and enthusiasm. Go, Joe!

Here's hoping we keep in touch...maybe Joe or Diane will check in on my blog sometime and post a comment! Guys if you are reading this, I am sending my love!

Start Loving

2008-08-21T15:43:00.001-07:00

Please meet Start Loving. He stands outside the Capitol Building and quietly protests the war. Start Loving is so committed to peace that he gives every day to this effort. I was impressed with how strongly he feels about peace and by his willingness to act in peace to do something about his convictions.

He was written his name across his forehead, with a cross in between: START + LOVING. He seems like a kind and dedicated man, even if I don't share all of

his fears. I will think of him standing quietly on the sidewalk

with all the politicians, tourists and government employees

rushing by him, whenever I sit quietly and pray for peace.

In DC with John Barrow

2008-08-17T09:54:00.000-07:00

While in DC attending a conference on homelessness, my fellow consumer advocates and I had a chance to sit down with our US Representative John Barrow and his Legislative Director, Christopher Schepis. We talked about reauthorizing the McKinney Vento act with the HEARTH bill currently before Congress, a bill that would expand the definition of homeless and make it possible for programs to help people sooner. We shared our stories and talked about our hopes that programs and funding for the homeless would be a priority in Congress. We thanked him for his support of the National Housing Trust Fund Act.

I was able to speak with the help of my DynaVox machine, and Mr. Barrow called my story a wonderful testimony. We invited him to tour Savannah's shelters alongside consumer advocates next time he was home.

Check back for more postings on our trip to DC and the people I met there.

Thanks to all who supported our trip!

In the Press

2008-08-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

Friends- you know I am not shy, so you probably won't be surprised to hear there was an article about me in Coastal Art & Antiques here in Savannah. Thank you to Teri Schell for being my interpreter and helping me communicate with the author, Jeri. The article is about finding ways to express yourself!

Check out the article on line at:
http://display.savannahnow.com/SS/Page.aspx?secid=49990&pagenum=12&sstarg=&facing=false &ecid=49990&pagenum=12&sstarg=&facing=false&

Volunteering Fever...Catch It!

2008-08-05T14:01:00.000-07:00

Here are a few comments from volunteers who pitched in with me at Union Mission in July:

Being here challenged my views on homelessness greatly. My actions that usually take place when I see a homeless person are a glance and then a turn of the head, but those actions are changed now. Next time I will glance a little longer, try to catch their eye and ask them, "how are you today" because sometimes just a simple question could make their day. ~Emma R.

...passion and love for helping others is infectious...pulling weeds, cleaning warehouses, whatever I did, it was an amazing feeling to know my actions have improved the lives of someone in need.

~ Kylie McC

I hope these words encourage us all to keep giving back and see the whole person in everyone!

We Were a Part of History!

2008-08-02T05:04:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, President Bush signed into law a bill that included the National Housing Trust Fund. This trust fund creates new affordable housing all over the country for people like me. Thanks to all of you who wrote letters to their Senators and Congress members this summer, telling them about what you saw when you volunteered at Union Mission and why affordable housing is so important!!!!

This National Housing Trust Fund is a historic step in the right direction...thanks for joining me in making history happen~

Love,

Howard

P.S. If you enjoyed writing to your elected officials to encourage them to vote for legislation that helps end homelessness, let me know! We can do more! Post a comment and I'll let you know what else is out there to write about~~

Silence

2008-06-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

This week, I had a really bad experience when my voice machine that I use to talk with would not work! It would not even turn on! Sometimes, you don't realize how much you count on something until it is gone.
I was really upset. I was so upset that I was ready to quit my volunteer job because I felt I could not really talk to people anymore. I felt powerless.
As I was thinking all of this, my machine came on! It worked for a few days but quit again on me today.
So, tomorrow it is being shipped off for repairs to Pittsburgh. Thanks to you, Bridget and David, for helping me get my machine repaired. It is really a life line for me.

For all of my readers, please pray for all of those with disabilities of any kind who count on machines and the help of others to get through the day! I know I will be praying, too!

The Power of Words

2008-06-26T18:07:00.000-07:00

I am so proud of the youth volunteers who have come to Union Mission this summer! Not only have they worked really, really hard, they have taken the time to write to their elected officials about homelessness. Here is what a few had to say:

"I've learned that homeless people just need a little bit of help. There are too many stereotypes that have to do with homelessness and it needs to stop."

"After meeting these people (UMI's clients) and talking with them about their struggles, I realized that these people are just like you and i."

Guys, this really touches my heart! Thanks for all your hard work. Let's all try to look past quick judgements and stereotypes and see people for who they truly are!

Sharing Pie & Experiences

2008-06-19T17:53:00.000-07:00

I have friends named Kathy and Rick. I have been after Kathy through Rick to make me some banana cream pie. Well, I finally got a pie last week, and, boy, was I looking forward to enjoying that pie. But, last week I met some new friends who are in Savannah for the summer as staff for the YouthWorks program. They will work with over 80 young people from around the country EACH WEEK for the next nine weeks, helping the youth find a means to serve the Savannah community and in the process develop a closer relationship to God. I decided that they deserved my pie, so I gave it to them. (I can get another one from Kathy & Rick!)

I got to meet some of those Youth Works kids and tell them a few things about homelessness and living with disabilities. And, about the consequences of drugs and alcohol. Those youth were doing volunteer work where I volunteer at Union Mission. At the end of their week, they wrote letters to their US Senators about the experience. When I next post, I will share some of their comments and a few photos.

My Friendship with Laura

2008-04-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me know that Laura and I have worked together and have been friends for many years. For those of you who don't know me personally, Laura has worked for Union Mission for about eight years and that is where we met. Last summer, Laura, her husband and all her dogs moved to the Washington, D.C. area. It was a really big change for me because I was used to seeing her almost every day and she knew so much about me since we spent so much time together. Because of this time, she was able to help me communicate things that I wasn't able to sometimes. She was also a really big part of helping me stay clean because of the time and friendship we shared. I do still get to see her when she comes to town for business and I talk to her on the phone, but it's still a big change from seeing her every day. I wanted to share some photos of Laura and her dogs because her dogs define a large part of Laura. She has six! I got to know all of them and miss them, too -- they don't get to fly to Savannah with Laura when she visits. I especially miss Oswyn. Oswyn was a registered therapy dog in Savannah and I believe they are working on registering him in their new town. He's a really special guy and I've known him since he was a baby. I knew when Laura moved that it would be hard and that I would miss her. But what I didn't know was how much I would miss her husband, Jay, and her dogs Oswyn, Judge, Guenther, Cole, Maybelle and H.D.! I love them all so much and thank them for the part they all play in my life!

Another HIV/AIDS event

2008-03-26T08:48:00.001-07:00

Please come out to this important exhibit to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS! The Starfish Cafe is located at 719 East Broad Street in Savannah. Call Teri at 236.7423 for more informaiton.

Savannah AIDS Walk for Life

2008-02-28T11:40:00.001-08:00

Hey Everybody! Come out Saturday, March 8th, to show your support for ending and preventing HIV/AIDS! Union Mission is hosting this event at Forsyth Park starting with registration at 8:00 am, a speaker and aerobic warm-up at 8:30 am and the walk starts at 9:00 am. I will be there walking with friends and Teri will be there with the Savannah Peace Tile Project - an art project to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS.

In 2006, I attended the Arthritis Walk. At that time, I did not feel up to walking the entire route, but it was important that I supported this cause! As you can see above, that day I used a wheelchair and some of those pictured came simply to cheer the walkers on!

So, please come out Saturday even if you do not feel you can walk the whole route -- just come out and support the cause!

Learning from the Students at South University

2008-02-20T10:57:00.000-08:00

Teri is helping me write this post. Last night Teri, David (the new Director of Community Involvement for UMI) and I went to South University to do a Homelessness 101 class for Physician Assistant students. Our mission was to teach them about homelessness and volunteering at Union Mission but they helped me learn a little bit more about my brain injury.

I am always glad to speak with people in or going into the medical field because I am so thankful for the help I received after my injury. I communicated this to the students last night and Teri joked that I wanted help finding a cure for my head injury. But it's no joke! and several of the students pulled out their laptops to look up my symptoms. They found aphasia on the internet, specifically Broca's aphasia. I remember a doctor speaking to me about aphasia when I was in rehabilitation. Today, Teri and I looked up Broca's aphasia on the internet and it does sound very much like my condition. My head injury damaged the area of my brain that allows me to speak. I do have a few words that I can speak but I do not have the ability to add new words.

I have asked Teri and David to start using this terminology at Homelessness 101 classes to describe the condition of not being able to speak but having the ability to comprehend everything just fine.

I always enjoy meeting new people and the South University Students were so welcoming and helpful. I would like to send a big thank you to the Students for allowing us to talk to them about Union Mission and especially for taking the time to look up information for me! Even though I had heard about aphasia before, it's really helpful for David and Teri to know this word so they can use it when speaking with me. Plus, it allowed me and Teri the opportunity to research more about aphasia on our own time.

Presidential Primary Election

2008-01-30T10:57:00.000-08:00

Teri from Union Mission is helping me write this post. Next Tuesday is the Presidential Primary Election in Georgia. I would like to support and urge you to vote for Hillary Clinton. I support Clinton because I agree with her on issues like Health Care, ending the war in Iraq, caring for our children, strengthening democracy, and reforming our immigration system. Take a look at this website http://www.hillaryhub.com/ to find out more about issues she supports. I am most interested in what she has to say about children because I am concerned about the children in Savannah who are at-risk for so many problems.

I especially agree with her support of this issue: "Providing meaningful support to households, called "kinship care" families, where grandparents and other relatives are raising children." I see these types of families a lot and know that they deserve some help, too.

I also agree with her on this issue: "Protecting children against violence and sexual content in the media." I think that children see too much violence on television and in movies. I think that this leads to our youth acting out what they see in the media.

Lastly, I think her stance on this issue is important: "Advocating for adoption and for abused and neglected children -- as First Lady, Hillary pushed legislation that more than doubled adoptions out of foster care." Every child needs a good home.

I think Hillary Clinton is a great lady and I hope that she wins. I give her a thumbs-up!

City of Savannah Inauguration Ceremony

2008-01-03T12:31:00.000-08:00

Teri from Union Mission is helping me write this post. Last night I attended the City of Savannah's Mayoral and Council Inauguration Ceremony with Teri and her team, the Health Promotion Center. They walked in a procession of organizations who have received arts funding from the City of Savannah. I was very impressed by the words that Mayor Otis S. Johnson spoke. He spoke about the youth of Savannah and how he feels they are out of control. He wants to work on personal accountability with the youth of Savannah and says that he feels that parents should be held responsible, too. I very much agree with the Mayor on this point. On the way home from the ceremony, Teri and I saw some youth out walking near Hitch Village and I wished that they had heard the Mayor speak.

Mayor Johnson spoke about prevention programs for our youth. He said he did not want to build another jail or add on because that wouldn't solve the problem. He stressed the importance of going out to where the youth were and starting programs instead of simply praying for them. While he acknowledged that prayer is important, it must be coupled with action.

He also spoke about the importance of unity and how he sees great divisions in Savannah. The Mayor says he plans to continue working hard for all people of Savannah regardless of income, race, religion, etc. He said that people don't like to talk about these hard issues but that he is going to be a "truthteller." I am proud of the Mayor for his courage to speak out about these issues.

Updates

2007-08-10T12:29:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, I just wanted you to know about two things. First, I attended a presentation last night where Bill Pelke shared his story of forgiving a woman on death row who had brutally murdered his grandmother. Aleta took me, and it was really powerful to hear his story of forgiveness and reconciliation. His story reminded me a lot of the struggle I went through to forgive those who attacked me. You can visit his website here.

Also, yesterday Laura Webb let me know about a partnership between SunTrust bank and Union Mission. I'll copy what she said below.

"Are you thinking of opening a new checking account? If so, please note that SunTrust bank has a new program called MY CAUSE PROMOTION. IF you open a new checking account through October 12, receive one of their check cards and make a purchase with it before November 15 then you can have them donate $100 dollars in your name to Union Mission!"

That sounds like a great program to me! If anyone gets a chance, they should definitely take advantage of it. Also, stay out of this heat!

end of the summer

2007-08-08T08:04:00.000-07:00

The summer is winding down and we no longer have any Youth Works groups with us. I would personally like to thank everyone who came and helped this summer and I hope you've enjoyed the rest of your vacation. We were blessed to have you with us. In addition to the departure of the youth groups, Union Mission is also losing one of its most hard-working and compassionate interns, Brett McCarty. Brett has worked with Union Mission this summer and has truly been a servant of God. Also, his girlfriend, Dana, has been a great contributor to Union Mission. We thank God for them and we'll miss them. Finally, I would like to dedicate these prayers to Brett and Dana:

Enable us, Father, to be patterns in prayer and purity, in truthfulness and trustworthiness, in faith and fortitude, in love and loyalty, that by lip and life we may woo other to Thee: in Christ. Amen.

Heavenly Father, grant that Thy beauty shall be upon us. Make us attractive in our actions, charming in our conduct, sweet in our speech and winsome in all our ways. Help us to woo and win our family and friends to Thee: through Christ, our Savior. Amen.

Goodbye, Brett and Dana. God bless you.

Birthday

2007-07-31T13:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday, and it was a great day! Many people sang me happy birthday - in English, Spanish, German, and even Swahili. When Chef Rachel and everyone at Starfish sang me happy birthday, they brought out half a pan of bread pudding. Birthday cakes don't get any better than that!

I got several birthday cards, and Youth Works gave me a huge card that I can hang up. The youth and staff from Youth Works have really brightened my summer. Last night, Aleta, Brett, Dana, and I were going to go out for dinner at Sweet Potato, but Aleta ran into some car trouble. Dana, Brett, and I had a great time at dinner, though - it was a lot of fun! As you can see, the banana pudding was delicious.

I am really thankful that God has let me live for so long, and I hope that all of you continue to enjoy every day as you live with purpose.

A Busy Summer in Savannah...

2007-07-26T12:04:00.000-07:00

Since my last post, the new SABHC (Savannah Area Behavioral Health Collaborative) building opened at the J.C. Lewis Health Center. Youth volunteers and everyone at Union Mission have been working hard all summer to open the building. It is now open as a state-of-the-art facility, and around 150 clients are there every day. Many of the youth volunteers will recognize and appreciate the picture of the overgrown back fence they worked on. Thanks to everyone's hard work, it looks great!

Also, this past week we had around 100 people here at Union Mission from the pharmaceutical company Eli Lilly. They were here to learn from our work as a non-profit business in order to train them as leaders within their own company. Aleta and I are pictured with a large group of the volunteers who took Homelessness 101. They then ate a delicious lunch catered by the Starfish cafe.

The group pictured with stuffed animals was here last week, and they worked really hard, especially in the Magdalene Children's Garden. Every group has worked hard this summer to help Union Mission prevent and end homelessness here in Savannah, GA.

Teri Schell, our Arts Coordinator, has overseen the Children's Garden. Her work with the Growing Hope Artisans Cooperative helps those fighting homelessness express themselves. She has shared an office this summer with Brett McCarty, who is interning with Union Mission. They have been all over the city of Savannah working on projects at various Union Mission facilities.

Daddy

2007-07-16T12:36:00.001-07:00

God saw you were getting tired
A cure was not to be
So He put His arms around you
and whispered, "Come To Me."
He said, "I will give you freedom
from fear, pain, loneliness and sorrow
I will give you all my love
for all your tomorrows."
Although we loved you dearly
We could not make you stay,
With tearful eyes and caring hearts
We watch you fade away.
A golden heart has stopped beating
And hard working hands are at rest
God broke our hearts to prove to us
That He knows what is best.

Summer in Savannah...

2007-07-06T13:11:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post, but things have been busy here at Union Mission and in Savannah. My good friend Laura Webb has moved to Washington, D.C., and Aleta Alston-Toure is her wonderful replacement. Also, Brett McCarty is interning with us this summer.

Thank all of you who have volunteered and worked for Union Mission. I really enjoy the times I spend with all of you.

I want to leave you all with this advice: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

2007-05-23T11:54:00.000-07:00

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More words from NA

2007-05-17T12:38:00.000-07:00

Here is another writing from my NA Group that I would like to share with you. My art collaborator, Sierra, is typing this for me.

I'm your disease.

I hate meetings. I hate higher power. I hate anyone who has a program. To anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself; I am the disease of addiction. Cunning, baffling, and powerful, that's me. I have killed millions, and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die didn't you call me? I was there. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can not hurt or cry. You can't feel anything at all. This is true glory. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long term suffering. I've been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all things good in your life. People don't take me seriously. They take stroke saeriously, heart attacks seriously, even diabetes they take seriously. Fools that they are, they don't know that without my help these things would not be made possible. I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have choosen me over reality and peace.

Words of wisdom from my NA Group

2007-05-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

As most of you know I am a recovering addict. Today I want to share some words I got from my Narcotics Anonymous Group. These words really help me and I hope they will be of help to any of my readers who need them.

It is only a tiny rosebud

A flower of God's design;

But I cannot unfold the petals

With these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowers

Is not known to such as I.

GOD opens this flower so sweetly,

Then, in my hands, they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,

The flower of God's design,

Then how can I have the wisdom

To unfold this life of mine?

So, I'll trust in Him for leading

Each moment of my day.

I will look to Him for His guidance

Each moment of my day.

I will look to Him for His guidance

Each step of the Pilgrim's way.

The pathway that lies before me

Only my Heavely Father knows

I'll trust him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.

Thanks for listening.

Union Mission Friends

2007-05-08T11:24:00.000-07:00

I have known Laura - on the right- for 7 years. We met at Union Mission and together we have accomplished lots of work in the community. Teri - on the left - started working at Union Mission about 2 years ago and has helped me with the art projects that Laura started with me. Teri is also the typist behind this blog. Teri does the typing because when I was injured I had a stroke that left my right side paralyzed - so it's hard to type. Also, the injury damaged the part of the brain that allows me to spell and speak. So, Teri does the typing and interpreting for me so I can communicate with you through this blog.

I wanted to tell you more about Laura - Laura and I have been through a lot together and we get along great, like brother and sister. Sometimes we don't always agree but that's how families are - we still love each other. And we can't forget her children! Here's one below:

Oswyn, like all well-loved children, is great to have around!

This picture was taken at the JC Lewis Health Center. Oswyn

is a therapy dog and so he gets to visit there from time to time.

Sometimes me, Laura and Oswyn visit children, too. I enjoy talking to children and sharing my story with them. I hope to help them make good decisions about their lives.

Laura and I are very close - we look out for each other.

Zodiac Wheel by Howard and Sierra

2007-05-04T12:03:00.000-07:00

Here is the painting that Sierra and I created for the Starfish Gala on April 24th. Sierra drew each zodiac sign and I painted them. Then I painted a piece of wood to create the background. Sierra cut out each zodiac sign. Together, we attached them to the wood that I had painted. Sierra painted in the gold star and circle while I painted the flowers in each corner. It was truly a collaborative work.

The painting was donated to the Starfish Gala to be auctioned off in the silent art auction.

Hope you like looking at it as much as we liked making it!

I'm back!

2007-05-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of me and Karim, a fellow CCABoH member, at the Union Mission Kole Center Opening. The Kole Center is housing for women experiencing homelessness who want to work on their addiction issues.

I am on the right path with God. I recently finished a beautiful painting with my collaborator Sierra. The painting was of the Zodiac Wheel. We donated it to the Starfish Gala, a fundraiser for the Starfish Cafe. The Starfish Cafe is also a Union Mission program that teaches culinary arts to people who are at risk or experiencing homelessness. The Starfish is open to the public and serves wonderful gourmet food. I like the Bread Pudding best!

Let me tell you about Karim. He is on the CCABoH board. CCABoH stands for Community Consumer Advocacy Board on Homelessness and strives to be a community voice for those experiencing homelessness from people who have experienced it firsthand. Karim and I have been friends for about 15 years. He's a great guy!

Welcome to Howards-Home

2006-11-01T16:36:00.000-08:00

Greetings!!!!

My name is Howard Jackson and I live in Savannah Georgia. I am a resident of Grace House, a long term home for people recovering from homelessness and mental/physical illnesses. This blog has been created to share my life story. I want people to learn from my experiences and I would also like to hear what others have to say, hoping I can learn from you.

I will share more of my story in the future, but here's a short version until I have a little more time.

I am a 45 year old African American male. I've lived in Savannah all of my life. I had a fantastic life of money, cars, women, alcohol. I was a drug dealer. I am unable to speak because of a brain injury, caused by being hit by a baseball bat, during a drug transaction gone bad. I will be in touch soon.

Love Howard.